4 Changes To Make Now That Will Fast Forward Your Progress
When we are doing a lot of great work on ourselves, there are a few things that can hold us back, or lead us away from our path if we aren't mindful. Here are some changes to make, if you haven't already!
Even when we’ve already done some work on ourselves, and we’re starting to make better moves toward the things we want out of life, it’s important to be reminded of the things we can easily spend too much or not enough energy on. It can be easy to get bogged down unnecessarily or stray away from our path when we aren’t being mindful. All the things you want will require your discipline, a change in mentality, and balance. Here are four changes that will make a difference!
Stop Devoting too much time and energy to those who take much more than they give to us in life
This one can be difficult sometimes, but it’s definitely important. To be around some people is to be sucked dry energetically, financially, or even spiritually. They sometimes don’t even mean to do it, but it’s a reality. Everyone is dealing with their own current capacity of awareness and is on their own journey to improvement. When you are more aware of those energy drains and the behaviors that tend to accompany them, it’s important to follow your instincts instead of going against them and staying in your discomfort longer than necessary. It can be that family member who you always feel bad for and take care of in some way, especially when it is barely appreciated or reciprocated - or worse; they have the audacity to be cruel in return. It can be that friend who only calls when they need something from you yet never seems to be available in your times of need. Certainly, we have all had an abusive, narcissistic, or emotionally immature ex, family member, or friend who really took it out of us, etc.
Things don’t always have to be equal in relationships - life always has ebb and flow. But, you know, deep down, the people who don’t put much into the relationship but always have high expectations of you shamelessly ask too much of you or continue to act intolerably. Sometimes, you have to decide who is solid, who you need to navigate with caution, and who really shouldn’t be part of your life.
For the people you keep in your life, there are ways to protect yourself, your time, and your energy. Consider not always picking up that call if you already know some version of what’s coming and you don’t have the energy for it. You could limit the timeframe you spend with these people or even try to make it so that you’re mostly in groups together and not one-on-one. Your time and energy are precious to you, as are your goals and your happiness. You can’t always be the person coming to the rescue! Your personal space, energy, resources, and happiness aren’t selfish—they are the things that allow you to be a positive and present person for those you love most. It comes full circle.
Don’t allow others’ opinions of you or your goals to influence you
Whenever you begin making positive changes in your life—lookout, there will almost always be some nay-sayers or those trying to interject with their ideas for how you should be living your life. It can even be those closest to you that you really value, which can really be discouraging and downright hurtful. When people say you can’t do X or that you won’t be good at it, it’s usually because they are projecting their limitations onto you. Often, these people probably don’t take big risks themselves and have a harder time envisioning someone else doing it or are threatened by it somehow. This type of mentality actually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how that person feels about themselves.
So, remember that doesn’t reflect on you. Every soul is on its own journey, and you can’t force another to view things your way. The best way you can help those folks in your life is to keep living your path and lead by example. You’d be surprised; sometimes people come around on their own in time. Also, put more focus on spending time with those who inspire and uplift you. It’s highly advantageous to start surrounding yourself with people who are where you want to be someday. That’s the type of energy and mentality you need more of! You can learn a lot this way and build a stronger support system overall.
Name your needs or have boundaries with the people around you instead of “keeping the peace”
Merely eliminating unnecessary conflict from your life and “keeping the peace” to a fault are two different things. Keeping the peace at your expense all the time is not productive because not asking for what you need in your relationships is a sure recipe for unhappiness. It’s important to have relationships where you’re comfortable enough to ask for space, communication, support, love, and respect from those around you. If you aren’t, you should be asking yourself why. If you’re afraid the other person may reject those types of needs, then is that a positive relationship for you? If some rejection is going to be the inevitable result, then why are you putting it off? It won’t make it any less hurtful, as it can’t be avoided forever. If it is a romantic relationship, putting it off only to avoid that negative result has potentially only kept you away longer from a better relationship that is surely out there for you (and for your partner).
That being said, it’s important not to assume the worst when we haven’t really tried and just end relationships whenever there’s a small bump in the road. All relationships require improvement in communication and addressing each other’s needs, which will require work by both parties. Sometimes, being vulnerable and open can invite others to also be more open and receptive to you. It’s important to allow them to be better. Having healthy boundaries and stable but honest conversations in your closest relationships is one of the things that will keep them healthy and positive!
Have fun, and pursue the things that interest and fulfill you
Perhaps this requires less explanation, but it’s really the most important part. Maybe you’ve found your purpose in this lifetime, something you are passionate about and work tirelessly at, or maybe you’re after a simpler life. Whatever you’re after, your most important purpose in life is to focus on loving yourself and those around you and taking part in what this world has to offer that is of interest. It’s vital to our human experience and evolution to see and explore new things, take in the beauty of all kinds, and learn as much as we can along the way. If we can pass on what we know to others to benefit future generations, that is also very fulfilling. Our lives should be meaningful, even if only to us individually. You need to find the things that make you want to get going every day and make time for them so that when life is less peachy, you have other things to focus on. Getting to a point where you can focus more and more on enhancing your human experience should be a top priority. Don’t forget to do what inspires you, try new things, and stay focused on the stuff that matters!
One small step each day…
